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Hope this brightens your day:

 

What happened when dog went to the flea circus? He stole the show!

 

Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?"  "No, she sure didn't," sobbed Jeff. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out." "Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father. "Oh boy, Dad, did I got it all wrong," Jeff groaned. "I said, 'My dear, you have a face that would stop a clock!'"

 

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I have a surprise for you. I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"

 

We each should live so that reputation and character are indistinguishable.

 

Why was Cinderella so bad at sports? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach!

 

"Most people of the world miss opportunity because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."  - Thomas Alva Edison

 

Makeshift Tear Gas Mask

 

Scott

3% Makeshift Tear Gas Mask 061217.jpg

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