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Hope this brightens your day:


Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade!


My friend asked me to help him with his crossword puzzle as he was struggling with 4 across. "What's the clue?" I asked. "Overworked postman," he said. "How many letters?"  "Thousands!"


"Always remember the compliments you receive and forget the insults."


Poodle: “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.” Collie: “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” Poodle: “I can’t. I’m not allowed on the couch.”


Guy tells his wife: For your birthday, how about a new car? Wife: No. Guy: How about a new boat? Wife: No. Guy: Well then, what do you want? Wife: I want a divorce. Guy: I wasn’t planning on spending that much money.


If you have a minor burn peel a potatoe take the skins of the potatoe and rub the peeled side to your skin.


The heart specialist was operating on the patient when he suddenly said, “Don’t worry, Adam. This is a minor operation. Everything will be all right.” The patient replied, “Thank you Doctor, but my name is Jose.” The heart specialist said, “I know that. Adam is my name.”


My wife called. She said, "The two kids want you to take them bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema." "It's either one or the other," I said. "Otherwise it's too expensive." "OK" she replied. "Which one do you prefer?" I said, "David!"


"Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them."  - Leo Tolstoy


Plastic Bee Hives



3% Plastic Bee Hives A 112816.jpg

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