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Hope this brightens your day:


I was married by a judge...  I should have asked for a jury.


My wife found a twenty in my pants pocket after she washed and dried them. I had to turn her in to the authorities.... For money laundering.


I have often been told that wisdom begins when we realize that we know nothing.


I have had a perfectly wonderful evening... But tonight with you wasn't it.


A stage mother cornered the concert violinist in his dressing room and insisted he listen to a tape of her talented son playing the violin. The man agreed to listen, and the woman switched on the tape player. “What music!” the violinist thought. A difficult piece, but played with such genius that it brought tears to his eyes. He listened spellbound to the entire recording. “Madam,” he whispered, "is that your son?” “No," she replied. “That’s Jascha Heifetz. But my son sounds just like him!”


Next time your kid asks you "why?" over and over, just ask them, "Why do you keep asking me why?"


Boy: Do you love me? Girl: Yes dear. Boy: Would you die for me? Girl: No, mine is an undying love.


Man walks into the barbershop, sits down in the chair and the barber asks, "How do you want your haircut?"  The man says, " I would like the sideburns one high and one low, a few long hairs sticking out of the back and a few chunks on the side and top."  The barber looks puzzled and says, "I'm not sure I can do that." The customer says, "Why not, you did it that way last time."


Solar Still



3% Solar Still 100216.jpg

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