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Amber Alert - short fiction

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Amber Alert

It was an average Saturday night. The wife was off at some Hen Party or other , I was puttering in the Gun Room while listening to a firearms Podcast with Professor Paulmer ranting about Honey Bears or Honey Badgers or something. The schtic was strong with professor paul but he was entertaining. 

The amber alert came through for neighboring Farmburg. 

An Amber Alert is being issued for 13-month-old, Bentley Dutz, born March 3, 2017.
Bentley has blond hair and is wearing a Bob the Builder yellow and white onesie with blue hood.
Suspect vehicle is a stolen gold 2000 Ford Taurus.
Bentley was in the back seat when the vehicle was stolen.

There are three suspects.
First suspect is James T Kirk, male black, 24 years old, wearing black t-shirt and white jeans.
Second suspect is a male black wearing yellow Reebok hooded sweatshirt.
Third suspect is a male black wearing a white hooded sweatshirt.

Wow that's less than 10 miles from here. My phone starts to buzz. It's my patriot fire team battle buddy Ulysses. 

“Dude you see the Amber Alert?” I asked.

“Ya – I say we roll on this. I’m heading to you in my truck. I’ll drive you run that fancy laptop and phone of yours. Out here.”

Well heck yes a real militia mission. I already had on my 5.11s with a Gen 5 Glock 19. I went and grabbed by Go Bag and put my Panasonic Tough Book into a padded laptop case along with with a 4g mifi hot spot. At the gun safe I had a decision to make. My safe was jammed full of various evile blacke riflese. I a Freedom Ordinance FX9, an AR style that fed from Glock style magazines to go with it I grabbed a mag shingle with 6 extended 32 round Glock magazines. 

Ulysses rolled up in his crew cab dodge diesel pickup. I motioned for him to come into the garage. I had the tough book open and was still on the home wifi. We exchanged a bro hug and I pointed to the lap top with Gargle Maps up on it. 

“Check it … “ I pointed to the map “Farmburg is here, the tangos are all bravo mikes so logic says they drop to the interstate and head east to Pekin”

“They’re long gone then”, opined Ulysses.

“Sure once on the interstate they’re kinda trapped and with the traffic cameras they can be tracked. But ”


“What if they made for Iowa, cross the Mississippi at Tri-Cities? See this state route? In some places it’d divided like interstate and in others it just 4 lane highway. Plenty of side roads to pull onto.”

Ulysses pointed at the map. “If we head to town we could set up in the old tavern parking lot at the 4 way stop and street light. If they take the state road they’ll drive right by.”

So we were off. Ulysses was driving while I added the Broadcastify app to it so we could listen to the Police Scanner. I got an inbound message from Bryan and Scott, battle buddies and the other half of our Patriot Fire team. They had been out working on farm equipment at their place a bit further to the west.

I remembered a spot on the highway where a subdivision was supposed to go in. It was essentially a concrete circle of road. No stop sign but there was a street light. It was maybe 12 miles further down the road from where we were heading. I passed it along and they headed out. They only had their get home bags with one S&W Bodyguard 380 pistol each.

On the way to the old tavern I was surprised there was little chatter on Broadcasify. I signed into facebook with my nom de militia account. The militia facebook pages were all lit up. Some were talking about mustering. Others just had guys out cruising the back roads looking for the 'stolen gold 2000 Ford Taurus'.

I asked Ulysses, "Should I post what we're up to?"


We got to the old closed down tavern. It had a decent gravel parting lot and was right next to the towns one four way stop. Ulysses parked us just outside the cone of odd yellow light facing the road. I wished his 'Bro Dozer' was some shade other than white. Ulysses broke out a Monster Hydro - combination energy drink and sports drink and offered me one. Seemed like a good idea if the caffine didn't keep us up having to pee would. 

"Aren't you going to need to cut the engine off to kill the running lights?" I asked.

"Nope, check it" 

He fiddled with some switches and all the exterior lights cut out. He hit one more switch and all the lights needed for legal driving came back on. He then rigged us for dark again.

"Ok that's pretty slick there 007"

"I think of myself more as Q, thank me."

"Want a deer slim jim? I got habenero, jalapino with chedar, blue cheese or sweet teriachi."

"Oh man gimma blue cheese those are the best."

After a car went through the intersection I asked. "I wonder what gold is going to look like under that crappy mercury halogen light?"

Ulysses thought for a second. "What if I hit the white fog lights when a questionable car comes through."

We tried it on the next car, actually a beater pick up, that rolled throug and it worked perfectly.

I noticed someone from Watchmen of IL had a shared map up. As people reported in roads they had checked the road changed colors. Pretty cool, a thought hit me. Maybe someone ought to cover the rest areas on the interstate kinda like we're covering the road here. I posted it up a few places and within a few minutes folks were headed that way. I posted a follow up message that rest areas were criminal protection areas er gun free zones so proceed with caution.

"Look at that!"

I looked up to see a gold tarus with dark tinted side windows. "Woah woah waoh, that's them ..."

Ulysses let the car move through the intesection before firing up all the lights. He pulled out and we were maybe a quarter mile behind them. I called 9-1-1 to report out sighting. I gave our location , speed and direction of travel. 

"Close up so I can read the liscence plate."

We got right on the rear bumper and I called the plate number to the 9-1-1 dispatcher.

"Sir are you following the suspect vehicle?"

"No shart sherlock ... "

"Sir I need you to stop following them"

"Just a soon as I see a squad car I'll back off"

"Sir I need you to STOP FOLLOWING them"

I hit the hang up, "Forget that stay on 'em"

The Ford made a hard right turn onto a county road with no signal at just a touch of braking once out of the turn he punched it hard. Ulysses horsed the big bro dozer through the turn. "I'm going to give him some distance."

"Rodger that." My phone was ringing now - looks like 9-1-1 was trying to call me back. I ignored it.

The Ford took us on a one mile square of county and township dirt roads before ending up where he made the first evasive turn. We were back to a quarter mile behind and traveling right at the posted speed limit. In a few minutes we passed Bryan and Scott and they pulled in behind us. 

Another couple miles down the road the Ford put his blinkers on and pulled into the County Work yard where they kept plow trucks and salt and such. We followed it behind the front office when the world EXPLODED into flashing blue and red lights. Two police cruisers pulled in front of us. A supervisors suburban pulled behind us. Spotlights from each car were shined in at us. 

"Driver turn off the car and throw the keys out"
"Driver open the door from the outside and step out.."

Classic felony stop just as seen on Live PD.

Seems the Amber Alert was a false report by a dude who was mad some that he was robbed during a drug deal. The car we were following was a County Sherrif's detective. 

The county persecutor or is that prosecutor was pissed he didn't have anything to charge use with. It took a couple months to finally get my firearms back.

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