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Scott Lance Smith

The Comedic Stylings of Scott Lance

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Hope this brightens your day:

 

Teacher: "Why are you late this morning?" Student: "Its my alarm clock. Everyone got up except me!" Teacher: How did the alarm clock make you the only one not to get up?" Student: "There are eight of us in the my family and the alarm clock was only set for seven."

 

Luke: I remember the time I played against Yale in football. What a game it was." Mark: "What position did you play?" Luke: "In the first game I was left...." Mark: "End?"
Luke: "Left out. In the second half I was back...." Mark: "You were back in?" Luke: "No, way back."

 

What is TATT syndrome? TATT stands for “tired all the time”and it is a real condition. This goes beyond being tired all the time. It is a combination of physical and psychiatric symptoms, such as feeling sleepy, loss of motivation, inability to concentrate and/or make decisions, lack of energy, and more.

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.    

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

 

Danerous Prople.

 

Pests B5 - Feel Free To “Click on”- Research - Copy/Paste & Share.

 

Scott

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Hope this brightens your day:

 

One summer evening, a 3-year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help. His mother said, "No, but I appreciate your asking." The child responded, "Well, I appreciate your saying no."

 

Two men were adrift in an open boat, and it looked bad for them. Finally one of them, frightened, began to pray. "O Lord," he prayed, “I've broken most of thy commandments. I've been a hard drinker, but if my life is spared now I'll promise never again...” "Wait a minute, Jack,” said his friend. “Don't go too far, I think I see a sail!”

 

September 3, 1967 started out as the typical Sunday morning in Sweden. Except for one little detail. This was the day that Swedish officials decided to switch from driving on the left side to driving on the right side of the road. Apparently not everyone was aware of this switch. There was chaos, confusion, and crashes.

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.    

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

 

Decisions.

 

Weapon D7 - Feel Free To “Click on”- Research - Copy/Paste & Share.

 

Scott

=== Decisions 060319.jpg

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Hope this brightens your day:

 

Ten-year-old Tommy greeted his sister's boy friend very enthusiastically, "That harmonica you gave me for my birthday is easily the best present I have ever had!"


"I'm glad you liked it," the boyfriend replies. "Oh yeah! Mother gives me a quarter a day not to play it!"

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "do you have any experience in picking lemons?"


"Well ... as a matter of fact, Yes!" she replied. "I've been married and divorced three times."

 

Where were you on October 22, 1797? If you were anywhere near Paris, France, then you would have witnessed the first ever parachute jump. That feat goes to André-Jacques Garnerin, who on that day made the jump from a hydrogen balloon 3,200 feet up in the air.

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.    

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

 

Democrat Dumbass.

 

Rope B5 - Feel Free To “Click on”- Research - Copy/Paste & Share.

 

Scott

=== Democrat dumbass 082119.jpg

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Hope this brightens your day:

 

Teacher: Suppose you have $10 and you asked your brother for $5. How much would you have then?
Student: $10. Teacher: Why? Student: My brother won't give me any money.

 

A mechanic was working under a car and some brake fluid dripped into his mouth. "Wow! That stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought. The next day, he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid. "It was pretty good, really. I think I'll have a little more today." His friend was a little concerned, but didn't say anything. The next day, "Hey, I drank a whole glass of brake fluid. Great stuff! I'm going to have more." A few days later, he was up to a bottle a day. "You know," said his buddy, "that brake fluid is poison and really bad for you. You better cut out drinking that stuff." "Hey, no problem. I can stop any time!"

 

In 2007, fourteen squirrels were arrested in Iran. Yes, you read correctly. Fourteen squirrels were spotted near a nuclear enrichment plant and taken in for questioning by the Iranian army. What was their crime? What were they being charged with? Espionage. Apparently they were “spy squirrels”.

 

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.    

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

 

Socialism.

 

Crossbow E7 - Feel Free To “Click on”- Research - Copy/Paste & Share.

 

Scott

=== Socialism 102219.jpg

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Hope this brightens your day:

 

Interviewer: What drives you?  Candidate: The bus mostly. Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? Candidate: Missing the bus!

 

I was getting ready for a doctor's appointment and remembered how my mother once told me, "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away." Taking her words to heart I decided to bring an apple. Needless to say, it was shot day, I didn't like needles and was thinking, "There must be some way out of this?" So without thinking, I threw my apple at the doctor. He hasn't spoken to me since.

 

French military leader Napoléon Bonaparte was known for many things during the French Revolution and also during his reign as the Emperor of France. One of those would be his fear of cats. Bonaparte suffered from ailurophobia, a phobia that is an extreme or irrational fear of cats.

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.    

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

 

Didnt Warn You.

 

Nutrition C7 - Feel Free To “Click on”- Research - Copy/Paste & Share.

 

Scott

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