Jump to content
Scott Lance Smith

The Comedic Stylings of Scott Lance

Recommended Posts

Hope this brightens your day:

 

I recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favorites." "Why thank you," I replied. Then he concluded with, "You were mean to everyone.”

 

A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a baby pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied, "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."

 

Steph Curry (Golden State Warriors) and Seth Curry (Portland Blazers) will become the first brothers in NBA history to face off in either the Western or Eastern Conference Finals. Brothers have never faced off in the Championship Finals either.

 

While growing up my father drove truck (Teamster) for “Michigan Fruit Canners” (MFC). Because of  media propaganda (advertising) I was under the impression the major international brands (Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc) were the “best” (cost, nutrition). Has I grew older,  I began to notice these international brands trucks were loading at MFC. My father informed me ALL companies purchase & Barter/TRADE with each other. In most cases it does not matter what BRAND you purchase as long as the ingredients are the same (read label) you are purchasing the same product. Store brands Kroger, Publix, True Value, etc have the same effectiveness as Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc at lower costs.

 

In the event of an EMP or Solar Flair; How much would single & double (trailers) homes (covered in Aluminum) would protect our electronics? Your modern vehicle is a faraday cage. The bodywork is metal and conductive (look how many grounds are connected through out). If you truly believe an EMP is emanate then simply ground your vehicle well. Several sets of generator grounding spikes and connect to several parts of the vehicle frame and body.

 

All Prepper & Militia Groups should interact (Leaders have meetings). When the SHTF it will be us against the masses of starving savage MILLIONS.

 

Tools - Feel Free To “Click on”- Copy/Paste & Share.

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com/WE are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.

 

I very much enjoy reading your comments to my Posts.

 

Scott

Carved Untensils 081518.jpg

Cord-String Dispenser 112718.jpg

Cow Bones A 111618.jpg

Cow Bones B 111618.jpg

DIY Chicken Feeder 220518.jpg

DIY Chicken Feeder A 220518.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope ya dont mind if I share this here.................off FB

 

A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly. The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc. Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear that’s closest to them. “No, not that one,” shouts the surviving hunter, “That’s the female.” “The Czech is in the male.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hope this brightens your day:

 

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?" "I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

 

A balding man went into a barber’s shop and asked how much it would be for a haircut. “Twenty-five dollars,” said the barber. “Twenty-five dollars, that’s crazy!” exclaimed the man. “I’ve hardly got any hair. How can it be that expensive?” The barber explained, “It’s $5 for the actual cut and $20 for the search fee.”

 

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner. A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”

 

A man goes into the doctor. He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks." "I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on?" the doctor asked. "That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee." The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!" "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded. "Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him. The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks please if you will." "I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."

 

The color silver is the preferred choice of color among new car buyers. White came in at second while black rounds out the top three.

 

The item of clothing that is today recognized as the kilt originated in the 1720’s. It was designed by an Englishman named Thomas Rawlinson.

 

While growing up my father drove truck (Teamster) for “Michigan Fruit Canners” (MFC). Because of  media propaganda (advertising) I was under the impression the major international brands (Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc) were the “best” (cost, nutrition). Has I grew older,  I began to notice these international brands trucks were loading at MFC. My father informed me ALL companies purchase & Barter/TRADE with each other. In most cases it does not matter what BRAND you purchase as long as the ingredients are the same (read label) you are purchasing the same product. Store brands Kroger, Publix, True Value, etc have the same effectiveness as Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc at lower costs.

 

In the event of an EMP or Solar Flair; How much would single & double (trailers) homes (covered in Aluminum) would protect our electronics? Your modern vehicle is a faraday cage. The bodywork is metal and conductive (look how many grounds are connected through out). If you truly believe an EMP is emanate then simply ground your vehicle well. Several sets of generator grounding spikes and connect to several parts of the vehicle frame and body.

 

All Prepper & Militia Groups should interact (Leaders have meetings). When the SHTF it will be us against the masses of starving savage MILLIONS.

 

Collecting Water - Feel Free To “Click on”- Copy/Paste & Share.

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com/WE are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.

 

I very much enjoy reading your comments to my Posts.

 

Scott

Airdrop 140618.jpg

Catch Rain Water A 122418.jpg

Catch Rain Water B 122418.jpg

Rain Water 031919.jpg

Rain Water 121918.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hope this brightens your day:

 

Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor!” “Good idea,” said the other. “You be the doctor who operates, and I’ll be the patient who sues.”

 

A man was very much in love with a woman. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never found out what made his girlfriend so angry with him.

 

There are four desert types that make up about a fifth of the Earth’s surface. The four types are: Subtropical, Coastal, Cold, and Polar.

 

While growing up my father drove truck (Teamster) for “Michigan Fruit Canners” (MFC). Because of  media propaganda (advertising) I was under the impression the major international brands (Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc) were the “best” (cost, nutrition). Has I grew older,  I began to notice these international brands trucks were loading at MFC. My father informed me ALL companies purchase & Barter/TRADE with each other. In most cases it does not matter what BRAND you purchase as long as the ingredients are the same (read label) you are purchasing the same product. Store brands Kroger, Publix, True Value, etc have the same effectiveness as Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc at lower costs.

 

In the event of an EMP or Solar Flair; How much would single & double (trailers) homes (covered in Aluminum) would protect our electronics? Your modern vehicle is a faraday cage. The bodywork is metal and conductive (look how many grounds are connected through out). If you truly believe an EMP is emanate then simply ground your vehicle well. Several sets of generator grounding spikes and connect to several parts of the vehicle frame and body.

 

All Prepper & Militia Groups should interact (Leaders have meetings). When the SHTF it will be us against the masses of starving savage MILLIONS.

 

Electronics - Feel Free To “Click on”- Copy/Paste & Share.

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com/WE are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.

 

I very much enjoy reading your comments to my Posts.

 

Scott

Blocklite 9-Volt Battery Flashlight 080918.jpg

Faraday Cage 120218.png

Infrared Light 241217.jpg

International Morse Code 031719.jpg

Morse Code 011117.jpg

Morse Code 012819.jpg

Prevent Remote Haxking & Tracking 120718.jpg

Protect Cable 100216.jpg

Useful Websites 181217.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hope this brightens your day:

 

Little Johnny did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said, "Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the bull." "Oh I see," said the teacher, "but I'm sure your father could have done that." "No ma'am, he couldn't have," said Johnny, "it has to be the bull"

 

At their high school reunion, Sarah and Esther meet up for the first time in fifty years. Sarah begins to tell Esther about her children: "My son is a doctor and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about your kids?" Esther replies, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and so we have no grandchildren either." Sarah says, "No children and no grandchildren... so tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?"

 

Steve Kerr, head coach of the Golden State Warriors, is five for five. Kerr has made it to the NBA Finals in each of his first five seasons as a coach (currently 3-1). He is the first NBA coach to accomplish that feat.
 

While growing up my father drove truck (Teamster) for “Michigan Fruit Canners” (MFC). Because of  media propaganda (advertising) I was under the impression the major international brands (Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc) were the “best” (cost, nutrition). Has I grew older,  I began to notice these international brands trucks were loading at MFC. My father informed me ALL companies purchase & Barter/TRADE with each other. In most cases it does not matter what BRAND you purchase as long as the ingredients are the same (read label) you are purchasing the same product. Store brands Kroger, Publix, True Value, etc have the same effectiveness as Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc at lower costs.

 

In the event of an EMP or Solar Flair; How much would single & double (trailers) homes (covered in Aluminum) would protect our electronics? Your modern vehicle is a faraday cage. The bodywork is metal and conductive (look how many grounds are connected through out). If you truly believe an EMP is emanate then simply ground your vehicle well. Several sets of generator grounding spikes and connect to several parts of the vehicle frame and body.

 

All Prepper & Militia Groups should interact (Leaders have meetings). When the SHTF it will be us against the masses of starving savage MILLIONS.

 

Camping - Feel Free To “Click on”- Copy/Paste & Share.

 

https:// theselfsufficientliving(DOT)com/diy-wind-turbine-designs-to-generate-off-grid-power/

 

https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com/WE are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.

 

I very much enjoy reading your comments to my Posts.

 

Scott

Backpack Checklist 110718.jpg

Backpack Checklist 260917.jpg

Backpack Improved 100216.jpg

Backpack Jeans 103018.jpg

Backpack Properly Fitting 080118.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


Who we are

We are a community of concerned patriots who are not overly confident in the current direction of our society, from the wild political climate to what can be summed up as a lack of morals or a complete void of integrity and pretty much a blatant disregard of respect..... Respect for our past, respect for our future and respect for each other. In order to protect our constitution and life as we know it, we decided to not be the silent majority anymore and pull our selves up by the bootstraps and make the world a better place. This website is to unite people like us, people who want to make a difference ... and do it the right way, Little did we know that in doing so we would create the number one militia community online. Here we are. Enjoy.

Disclaimer

We require all members to think before they post. We understand the issues raised on this site may lead to heated debate, but we still require all users to maintain a respectful environment. My Militia website bears no responsibility for the accuracy of anyone's comments and will bear no responsibility or legal liability for any discussion postings. We reserve the right to remove posts without notice, and the right to ban anyone who willfully violates the rules. All content is posted live with no moderation. If you see something that you think shouldn't be here please report it so we can handle it accordingly. Always respect the privacy of others if something is shared with you in a private fashion such as real names, emails or phone numbers. Please keep them private.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Your Privacy Is Important To Us Learn More: Privacy Policy