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Scott Lance Smith, March 27, 2019 in Off-Topic - No Militia Related Topics
Hope this brightens your day:
I recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favorites." "Why thank you," I replied. Then he concluded with, "You were mean to everyone.”
A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a baby pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied, "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."
Steph Curry (Golden State Warriors) and Seth Curry (Portland Blazers) will become the first brothers in NBA history to face off in either the Western or Eastern Conference Finals. Brothers have never faced off in the Championship Finals either.
While growing up my father drove truck (Teamster) for “Michigan Fruit Canners” (MFC). Because of media propaganda (advertising) I was under the impression the major international brands (Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc) were the “best” (cost, nutrition). Has I grew older, I began to notice these international brands trucks were loading at MFC. My father informed me ALL companies purchase & Barter/TRADE with each other. In most cases it does not matter what BRAND you purchase as long as the ingredients are the same (read label) you are purchasing the same product. Store brands Kroger, Publix, True Value, etc have the same effectiveness as Borden, Dole, Heinz, Listerine, etc at lower costs.
In the event of an EMP or Solar Flair; How much would single & double (trailers) homes (covered in Aluminum) would protect our electronics? Your modern vehicle is a faraday cage. The bodywork is metal and conductive (look how many grounds are connected through out). If you truly believe an EMP is emanate then simply ground your vehicle well. Several sets of generator grounding spikes and connect to several parts of the vehicle frame and body.
All Prepper & Militia Groups should interact (Leaders have meetings). When the SHTF it will be us against the masses of starving savage MILLIONS.
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https://gsmpao.weebly(DOT)com/WE are primarily a Prepper Organization, join us.
I very much enjoy reading your comments to my Posts.
I like those chicken feeders thanks**
I hope ya dont mind if I share this here.................off FB
A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly. The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc. Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear that’s closest to them. “No, not that one,” shouts the surviving hunter, “That’s the female.” “The Czech is in the male.”
A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?" "I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."
A balding man went into a barber’s shop and asked how much it would be for a haircut. “Twenty-five dollars,” said the barber. “Twenty-five dollars, that’s crazy!” exclaimed the man. “I’ve hardly got any hair. How can it be that expensive?” The barber explained, “It’s $5 for the actual cut and $20 for the search fee.”
While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner. A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”
A man goes into the doctor. He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks." "I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on?" the doctor asked. "That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee." The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!" "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded. "Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him. The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks please if you will." "I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
The color silver is the preferred choice of color among new car buyers. White came in at second while black rounds out the top three.
The item of clothing that is today recognized as the kilt originated in the 1720’s. It was designed by an Englishman named Thomas Rawlinson.
Collecting Water - Feel Free To “Click on”- Copy/Paste & Share.
Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor!” “Good idea,” said the other. “You be the doctor who operates, and I’ll be the patient who sues.”
A man was very much in love with a woman. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never found out what made his girlfriend so angry with him.
There are four desert types that make up about a fifth of the Earth’s surface. The four types are: Subtropical, Coastal, Cold, and Polar.
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Little Johnny did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said, "Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the bull." "Oh I see," said the teacher, "but I'm sure your father could have done that." "No ma'am, he couldn't have," said Johnny, "it has to be the bull"
At their high school reunion, Sarah and Esther meet up for the first time in fifty years. Sarah begins to tell Esther about her children: "My son is a doctor and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about your kids?" Esther replies, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and so we have no grandchildren either." Sarah says, "No children and no grandchildren... so tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?"
Steve Kerr, head coach of the Golden State Warriors, is five for five. Kerr has made it to the NBA Finals in each of his first five seasons as a coach (currently 3-1). He is the first NBA coach to accomplish that feat.
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Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes. Nurse: Have you seen a doctor? Patient: No, just spots.
A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse serving drinks. The guy stares until the horse finally says, “What’s the problem? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?” The guy says, “No, it’s not that. It is just that I never thought the ferret would sell the place.”
Yes, the Arctic Monkeys were a talentless band. When the band first formed, none of the member could play a musical instrument. They’ve obviously learned a thing or two since then.
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thanks Scott, great ideas gotta try the boat' plan.
Q: Why do bicycles fall over? A: Because they're two-tired!
Teacher: "You are the only one in the entire class who makes so many mistakes in the homework assignment." Student: "That is not true, I am not the only one. My parents are involved in this as well!"
This six-time Grammy award winning band first started performing under the name Pectoralz. They then switched to the name Starfish. Finally they settled on Coldplay.
Dehydration - Feel Free To “Click on”- Copy/Paste & Share.
I once fell in love with a girl who only knew 4 vowels... She didn’t know I existed.
An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. "Mr. Cohen," she says, "would you say you’re honest?" "Honest?" replies Mr. Cohen. "Let me tell you something about honesty. My father lent me $75,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case." "Impressive. And what sort of case was that?" "Dad sued me for the money."
A nigglywiggly is the little piece of paper that extends out of a Hershey’s Kiss chocolate. Yes, that actually has a name.
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LOLOL " someone else's '. I Like the sewing setup**
"Excuse me," a young fellow said to an older man, "I've just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers?" "Well," replied the older man, "I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able to prove it yet."
A husband comes in from the garage. His wife asks, "What's wrong?" He replies, "I lost something. I thought I had put it somewhere safe in the garage." "How many safe places are there in the garage?" she asks. "Clearly one more than I can remember."
The flight attendant on the trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. As the young man stepped forward, she playfully offered some to him. He passed, pointing to the Airborne wings on his Army uniform. He explained, “The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.”
I telephoned the veterinarian's office to ask when I should take my three month old kitten in to be vaccinated for rabies. After a few initial questions, the woman who answered the telephone asked, "What is the kitten's name?" "Demon," I replied. "Demon? That's an odd name," she said. "Maybe, but it's appropriate anyway." I heard clicking of a computer keyboard, then she said, "Our records show that you have cats named Gato [which is Spanish for 'male cat'], Scamp, Stinky, and now you named one Demon. Is that right?" "Yes, it is." "You really don't like cats, do you?"
Not to be mistaken with the small city of Cool, California (near Sacramento), Berlin, Germany has been nicknamed “The City of Cool”. The name was earned due to Berlin’s reputation as a music, art, and party city.
The word come sheriff comes from the two words “Shire” and “Reeve”. Shire refers to land or county, while Reeve is the official who was in charge. Shire Reeve then became sheriff.
A MAJOR percentage of the price of all products made in China/Russia you purchase go DIRECTLY to finance the Chinese/Russian Militaries. To say nothing of the cost to the U.S. economy & jobs.
We have a recycling problem, with thousands of Jails/Prisons in the U.S. with Millions of inmates; why are these people not being used to sort & recycle trash? EACH of Jail/Prison could be a recycling center. Inmates would be paid in REAL cash to their Jail/Prison account.
Peppers should become proficient with flintlocks, Bows & Axes; when the SHTF bullets will be in short supply; Arrows (silent), gunpowder & shot can be produced rather easily. Peppers should attend renaissance fairs learn ancient crafts.
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gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.” LOLO .. aroud the 60's we flew a lot I remember having a blue blazer with all those wings.
china' recycling' and flintlocks...all good. I did the sawblade thing ..came out pretty good.
Tank you Scott**
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a school teacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times!"
After raising four kids and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the degree I had started but never finished. And so, on my first day of college, eager with anticipation, and more than a little nervous, I took a front row seat in my first class in over 40 years ... a literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books over the course of the semester, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. He ambled over to the lectern, took out a paper, and began: "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student behind me whispered, "Slow down... he's just taking attendance."
Dad was angry when he saw that his son scored a zero in math. "Son, can you explain this to me?" "Well dad, the teacher didn't have any stars left to give me, so she gave me a moon!"
A man is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose, but an evil witch has cast a spell on him and now he can say only one word a year. So he waits 14 agonizing years—accumulating all his words—before approaching his beloved. Finally, the big day arrives. When he sees her, his heart skips a beat. He gathers his nerve, drops to his knees, and intones, “My darling, I have waited many years to say this... Will you marry me?” The princess turns around, smiles, and says, “Pardon?”
Thought it’s hard to believe at first, there are currently more public libraries in the United States than McDonald’s fast food restaurants.
If you’ve ever dreamed of driving a bulldozer or a tractor trailer, head to Las Vegas! “Dig This Las Vegas” is a giant sandbox for adults where they can play with real life heavy duty equipment.
We have a recycling problem, with thousands of Jails/Prisons in the U.S. with Millions of inmates; why are these people not being used to sort & recycle trash? EACH of Jail/Prison could be a recycling center. Inmates would be paid in REAL cash to their Jail/Prison account. Farming/Gardening Vacant land is also a an idea.
Preppers should become proficient with flintlocks, Bows & Axes; when the SHTF bullets will be in short supply; Arrows (silent), gunpowder & shot can be produced rather easily. Peppers should attend renaissance fairs learn ancient crafts.
I was just born. My father asks my mother, "Do you have a name in mind?" My mom replies, "No, uhh..." My dad interrupts, "Noah! Perfect name!" That's how I got the name Noah.
A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice. "Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."
Las Vegas host many wedding every year, ever month, every day. So many in fact that they are averaging around 300 weddings per day.
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Always looked for tracks on my hikes. never know want ya find.
Me: I taught my dog to play chess. Friend: He must be very smart? Me: Not really, I beat him two games out of three!
When I was in school, I used to ask a lot of questions. One day I asked Ms. Doris, our English teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters 'H' like in hour, honest, honor, etc?" Ms. Doris replied, "We are not ignoring them. They are considered silent." During the lunch break, Ms. Doris gave me her packed lunch & asked me to heat it in the cafeteria. I ate all the food and returned her an empty container. Ms. Doris asked me, "What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food & you are returning me an empty container?""I'm sorry, Ms. Doris, I thought the 'H' was silent."
A banana is a fruit… right? Not so fast. A banana actually comes from the berry family. Bananas originate from a single ovary, have a soft skin, and a fleshy middle. This makes them a berry.
An Immaculate Inning is a baseball term. It applies when a pitcher strikes out three batters in the same inning while throwing the minimum amount of pitches needed, which is nine.
Q: Daddy, why are all those cars beeping their horns? A: Because they were just at a wedding. Q: Don’t we beep the horn as a warning signal, Daddy? A: Exactly, son.
My daughter wants the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will if she gets good grades, does her chores and follows the house rules. Otherwise, she will get a cheaper phone because... It’s my way or the Huawei...
Clubs & Knives - Feel Free To “Click on”- Copy/Paste & Share.
Like the saw blade axes**
Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?" The other one says, "Well, I’m a big metal fan."
It was at a miniature golf course on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 3 kids. "Who's winning?" I asked cheerfully. "I am," said one. "No, I am," said another. "No," the father said. "Their mother is!"
Before they called it Google, co-founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin were using the name "Backrub" for their newfound search engine.
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Why do gingerbread men not have teeth? Because they are prone gingivitis.
There once was a funeral for a woman who had often screamed at her husband, drove her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made their cat and dog crazy with her explosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor's benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder. "Well, at least we know she got there all right," commented her husband.
Each of the three sneezes has a purpose. The first one loosens up the irritant. The second sneeze bring the irritant to the front of the nose. The third and final one, lets it all out.
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Gotta build me a windmill
A schoolteacher's son brought his report card home. The father said, "Let's see what you have accomplished..." He opens the report and to his dismay sees all bad grades. "What do you have to say about this Johnny?" "Well dad, at least you know I'm not cheating!"
During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week, in the outdoors. "Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered, so I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine." Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one heck of an outdoor woman!" "No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really bad golfer!"
Spanish is the main and official language of Bolivia, however there are a total of 39 languages spoken throughout the different regions of the country.
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