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Hope this brightens your day:

 

"Class, do you know how many hours you are wasting on your smart phones daily?" A quiet hush falls over the class. One student breaks it up. "I know, Sir, let's google it!"

 

I’m employed at a computer security company and have a colleague whose name is M. Alware. His e-mail address is malware@company.com. My ex-boss’s name is R. Stone. His e-mail was stoner@company.co.in. My name is James Pan. Every other permutation of my name was taken (e.g., jpan, jamesp), so I’m stuck with japan@university.edu.

 

"If Love is not the answer, then I misunderstood the question."

 

Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer never went to school? That’s right—he was elf taught.

 

My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle. An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy is she r-u-d-e!" "Yeah," he replied, "but I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l."

 

Hate, if unrestrained, tends to spread like a forest fire until the capacity to love becomes ashes.

 

Scott

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Great idea fixer, I second the motion. Keep em coming! He's got more jokes than an unemployed carpenter.

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