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Hope this brightens your day:

 

Keep a very firm grasp on reality... That way you can strangle it at any time.

 

Robinson Crusoe, the shipwrecked golfer, made the best of his tiny island. When a cruise liner spotted his distress signals and sent a boat to investigate, the landing party was amazed to find a crude but recognizable nine-hole course which the castaway had played with driftwood woods, whalebone and coral putter and balls carved out of pumice stone. "Quite a layout," said the officer in charge of the rescuers. "You're too kind, it's very rough and ready," the goatskin-clad golfer responded. Then he smiled slyly, "I am however, quite proud of the water hazard."

 

"The greatest carver does the least cutting." - Tao Te Ching -

 

"You see, doctor, I’m always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning,” said Carla. "I have the solution for you," replied the doctor. "Really, what is it?" “Well, try getting up half an hour later."

 

A speeding driver was pulled over by a policeman. He asked the policeman, "Why was I pulled over when I wasn't the only one speeding." The policeman replied, "Have you ever been fishing?" The man then said, "Yes, I have." "Well, have you ever caught all the fish?" asked the policeman.

 

"Half of being smart is knowing what you are dumb at." - David Gerroid -

 

Scott

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