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Hope this brightens your day:

 

Every baby finds its first squeeze toy while still in the womb... It is their mother's bladder, sending her to the bathroom twenty plus times a day and night.

 

Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said "Louie-ville" and the other "Louise-ville." They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant. The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, "Please tell me the name of the place where I am right now, really, really, really slowly." The waitress goes, "Bur-ger-King."

 

"It can take only a second to get someone to dislike you by a cruel word or insulting action; whereas, it can take a lifetime to make a true friend and undo a wrong." - JWD -

 

How much does it cost a Pirate to get his ears pierced? A bucc-an-eer!

 

Daughter: My fiancé said I could have whatever I wanted inscribed on his wedding ring. What should I put? Mother: Put what I put on your father's wedding ring. Daughter: What does it say. I've never seen daddy with it off. Mother: Yes. It's worked very well over the years. It says, "Put it back on!"

 

Think of your yesterdays as cancelled checks that tell you how you spent your days. Think of today as a blank check just waiting to be spent for what you value now.

 

Scott

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