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Hope this brightens your day:

 

A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

 

I asked my heart, "Why can't I sleep tonight? Could I possibly be in love with someone?" My heart replied, "Don't act like you are in love with anyone, it's because you slept in the afternoon."

 

Ideas are like seeds cast into the spring’s wind. Most will end in nothing... but others will sprout, take root, grow, and eventually cast their own seeds to the wind.

 

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to put it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

 

I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself. I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo. "Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she said. "But my husband is here getting a haircut," I explained. "Yes," she replied. "But I need something you'll come back for."

 

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head, sits down and orders a drink. Bartender serves the pirate his drink, and asks about the paper towel. The pirate smiles and says, "That be the bounty on me head!"

 

A teenager invited his girlfriend over to Sunday dinner to meet his parents for the first time. He warned her that his mother can be strong willed and very critical of his friends. She replied, "Don’t worry, I can hold my own. I’ll nicely put her in her place if need be." After dinner the teen asked his girlfriend why she hadn’t stood up to his mother. She answered by saying, "I’m not worried about her, it’s the horde of flying monkeys that must be waiting outside that bothers me."

 

The ellagic acid contained in fresh raspberries as well as processed preserves or spreads of the same is alleged by studies to hamper cancer growth.

 

D batteries paper clipped and taped together to charge a cellphone 

 

Scott

3% D batteries paper clipped and taped together to charge a cellphone 100418.jpg

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