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Hope this brightens your day:

 

The pastor was greeting folks at the door after the service. A woman said, “Father, that was a good sermon.” The priest replied, “Oh, I have to give the credit to the Holy Spirit.” “It wasn’t THAT good!” she said.

 

Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!"  "That's great sweetheart!" said her daddy. "Come into the living room and tell me about it," daddy continued. Little Anne said, "Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science."

 

How does a dog stop a TV show? He presses PAWS.

 

One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her backyard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."

 

In the absence of certainty, instinct is all you can follow.

 

Why were the tomatoes in the fridge embarrassed? They saw the salad dressing.

 

At 8 p.m. one night, a pilot who had run out of fuel made an emergency landing at a top secret government base. He was quickly surrounded by security and taken inside to be interrogated. The interrogation was grueling because they wanted to make sure it was an unplanned landing and he was not a spy. The interrogation lasted all night. At 6 a.m. they refueled his plane and let him go with his promise never to return. Four hours later he returned and landed again. Security met him on the runway. They asked him why he had come back. "I know I promised never to return but I brought my wife and now you have to tell her where I was all night..."

 

"The gift of a man may make room for him, but it takes the credibility of his character to unlock it." - Akinsipe

 

If you are in business and don’t have enemies, it’s probably because you’re on your way out of business.

 

Natural Cures

 

Scott

3% Natural Cures 091516.jpg

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